Me:"MOM!!!!!".
mom:"WHAT?"
me:"LOOK AT THESE SAUSAGES YOU'VE FRIED.SO FULL OF OIL.WHY DONT YOU USE THE NORMAL FRYING PAN?"
mom:"WHICH ONE!!!"
me(opening the kitchen cabinet):"THat...one.....(noticing the absence of the pan),where did it go????"
mom:"Ha!"
me(trying not to get embarrassed, pointing to a random pan):"Oh.There it is."
mom:"Oh really. I know that's not the one".
me(confidently):"SEE THAT'S MY POINT.(me approaching the fridge and opening its door.To my luck the pan lay in the fridge with some thing which had been melted months ago)."THERE'S YOUR PAN."
mom(with a sheepish grin):"as if it made a difference.DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN FRY SAUSAGES WITHOUT OIL??????"
me:" HELL YEAH!I WANT MY SAUSAGES WITHOUT OIL.:
mom:"WELL I'LL BOIL THEM FOR YOU THEN!!!!!"
me:"YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!!!!(lifting a fried oily sausage and bringing it towards my wide open mouth).I EVEN DOUBT THE OIL YOURE USING . HOW HEALTHY IS IT? DID YOU KNOW THEY USE ANIMAL WASTE IN SAUSAGES.BESIDES THE FAT CONTENT IN THIS CRAP IS....(taking a bite of the juicy, freshly fried sausage).It's flawless."
P.S.:ate eight sausages that day.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Driver
“GET UP!!!!!”, dad bellowed. “get up, its time to go to the dental clinic, Aboobaker will be here at 6:45 in his car, and we have to leave or the traffic will be at its peak”; said mom.
You see recently I had an accident at Neethu’s swimming pool. I dived from the deep end and ended up at the shallow end. What damage was caused? My front incissors,cut through my upper lip, and they got cut. Luckily the roots still exist so they just have to do a crowning. Anyway today was my dental check up date , and Dr. Asheel would be waiting. Soon I got ready and me and my mom got down from our flat , all set to go.
Aboobaker’s car arrived, his newly bought car. We got in, “How are your teeth son?” he asked me in Malayalam with his “Thanni mapulla” slang , and we talked for a while. Soon we reached the clinic , we met Dr.Asheel and nothing much was done. Now it was time to get back home. Here is where the real story commences. The driver bringing us back was Noushad , we waited for 45 minutes and then we saw the no: 21 Toyota , Hiace he owned. We got in , Noushad had a distinct “MALLUU TO THE CORE” look, he turned to me while he was driving and asked the obvious, “What happened to your teeth kid?”. I told him the whole story. This was the millionth time I was reciting the tale of my misfortune. He dropped my mom of at school and started talking to me about the art of swimming or , as he calls it , “simmee”. He began,” Simmee is the best ekcherchise. Did you know,” he looked away from the road for a second giving me a look as if he was going to tell me the deepest secrets of the U.N. , “ simmee is the only ekcherchise that makes use of every muscle in the body , even you ear!”. I gave him an expression that said “Oh my God your such a genius” and he was pleased with that, he continued , “ ok ok , for example, why do we keep our palms together while diving?”, he looked away from the road once more, this actually frightened me as the traffic wasn’t negligible. I replied to show him that I was listening , “To get streamlined motion?”. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” he kept laughing for a long time as if I had said the joke of the millennium. “Ofcourse not , it’s cause if there are any stones or obstacles in the way we may feel it and move away from it so that our head doesn’t hit against it , not for any motion or anything” he said chuckling. I gave him the “Oh my God your such a genius” expression again and he was pleased again. I thought to myself , “What a dumbass”. Then some how to make him stop talking I started, “ I’ve got to change my watch because it has a blue dial I need one with a black dial so….”. He interrupted “ you don’t have much faachon sense do you?”. I gave him a smile and agreed. “ I thought so, blue dial is the current faachon , why do you want to change to a black dialed watch?”. “Because that’s my problem” I thought to myself. “Well just like that” I replied. “ Which company is it let me see”; he held my wrist to take a look at the watch . “Aalba ,huh”; he said , a wide smile forming on his face. After a moment of thought he said , “it’s an Indian company , very very old, look on the back it will be written-MADE IN INDIA”; I looked at the back it was written in block letters as if the manufacturers knew about our conversation- ASSEMBLED IN CHINA , JAPAN MOV’T. I didn’t show him the back and I said , “ You were right made in India”, “ See , I told you , Aalba ,Tytaannu, < meaning titan> all are good”. I agreed. Soon we reached home.
“OK kid, see you later ok and take care”. “How much uncle?”; I asked. “One dinar will do”. I knew the ride would have actually cost more and I asked him if he was sure , he replied “For our “naatukaru”, there is no need of a price to be paid”. I thanked him and proceeded to the lift. Although he was really dumb , and didn’t know anything about anything , and was really nosey , he was innocent and naive and to me that was all that mattered.
You see recently I had an accident at Neethu’s swimming pool. I dived from the deep end and ended up at the shallow end. What damage was caused? My front incissors,cut through my upper lip, and they got cut. Luckily the roots still exist so they just have to do a crowning. Anyway today was my dental check up date , and Dr. Asheel would be waiting. Soon I got ready and me and my mom got down from our flat , all set to go.
Aboobaker’s car arrived, his newly bought car. We got in, “How are your teeth son?” he asked me in Malayalam with his “Thanni mapulla” slang , and we talked for a while. Soon we reached the clinic , we met Dr.Asheel and nothing much was done. Now it was time to get back home. Here is where the real story commences. The driver bringing us back was Noushad , we waited for 45 minutes and then we saw the no: 21 Toyota , Hiace he owned. We got in , Noushad had a distinct “MALLUU TO THE CORE” look, he turned to me while he was driving and asked the obvious, “What happened to your teeth kid?”. I told him the whole story. This was the millionth time I was reciting the tale of my misfortune. He dropped my mom of at school and started talking to me about the art of swimming or , as he calls it , “simmee”. He began,” Simmee is the best ekcherchise. Did you know,” he looked away from the road for a second giving me a look as if he was going to tell me the deepest secrets of the U.N. , “ simmee is the only ekcherchise that makes use of every muscle in the body , even you ear!”. I gave him an expression that said “Oh my God your such a genius” and he was pleased with that, he continued , “ ok ok , for example, why do we keep our palms together while diving?”, he looked away from the road once more, this actually frightened me as the traffic wasn’t negligible. I replied to show him that I was listening , “To get streamlined motion?”. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” he kept laughing for a long time as if I had said the joke of the millennium. “Ofcourse not , it’s cause if there are any stones or obstacles in the way we may feel it and move away from it so that our head doesn’t hit against it , not for any motion or anything” he said chuckling. I gave him the “Oh my God your such a genius” expression again and he was pleased again. I thought to myself , “What a dumbass”. Then some how to make him stop talking I started, “ I’ve got to change my watch because it has a blue dial I need one with a black dial so….”. He interrupted “ you don’t have much faachon sense do you?”. I gave him a smile and agreed. “ I thought so, blue dial is the current faachon , why do you want to change to a black dialed watch?”. “Because that’s my problem” I thought to myself. “Well just like that” I replied. “ Which company is it let me see”; he held my wrist to take a look at the watch . “Aalba ,huh”; he said , a wide smile forming on his face. After a moment of thought he said , “it’s an Indian company , very very old, look on the back it will be written-MADE IN INDIA”; I looked at the back it was written in block letters as if the manufacturers knew about our conversation- ASSEMBLED IN CHINA , JAPAN MOV’T. I didn’t show him the back and I said , “ You were right made in India”, “ See , I told you , Aalba ,Tytaannu, < meaning titan> all are good”. I agreed. Soon we reached home.
“OK kid, see you later ok and take care”. “How much uncle?”; I asked. “One dinar will do”. I knew the ride would have actually cost more and I asked him if he was sure , he replied “For our “naatukaru”, there is no need of a price to be paid”. I thanked him and proceeded to the lift. Although he was really dumb , and didn’t know anything about anything , and was really nosey , he was innocent and naive and to me that was all that mattered.
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