Saturday, June 4, 2011

What happens at hostel

April end the beginning of the end semester exams, Evin,Amar,Kiran, and me sitting in the room trying to concentrate. Kirans new clock is in front of Evin. and its a winding clock. Absolute silence in the room.
tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok.................................

Evin( Eyes red and bulging,ears purple,nerves on his forehead sticking out):AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I cant take this shit, eat crap you piece of horse dung, probably you mom ate an apple and shat you out. Oh, wait..wait,, you dont have a mom thats right, your a solitary iron clad machine that can do nothing but tik, you stinking metallic scrap, if you were to be personified you would probably be a goat...
Kiran: uh, dude that's not...
Evin: You stay out of this!!!! Oh right it's yours now your gonna take its side right well it's not the only one with friends,Shreejith say something!!!!!
Me: huh, what, oh yeah...bad clock ,bad bad clock...
(Meanwhile the clock-tik tok)
Evin(turning to the non living metallic mass): Would you SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clock: BANG!!!(It strikes twelve)
(Everybody sits down in front of their books, Evin drenched in his own sweat)
clock:tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok,
Evin(unable to control himself):ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Takes his books slams the door and runs to the bathroom to study)
clock:tik tok tik tok tik toktik tok...

The Secret

This post is one that i am not very sure of, cause it's based on a theory. This theory would be the law of attraction at a telepathic level.According to it, if you want something all you have to do is believe that you will get it and this faith will come back to you in the form of reality. It seems each time you think of anything your brain emits a frequency as the message moves through your neurons, and this frequency carries an amount of energy which is released to the atmosphere. Now by law of attraction, and by law of conservation of energy this thought or this energy should be conserved somehow, and this happens in the form of the thought actually happening. Now I dont know if it's true or what but I believe it's better to think that a thing will turn out well than thinking it can go wrong and I'd like to know what everybody else thinks of this theory.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Crazy stuff that i have done..

Well what inspired me to write this blog was pure bordem. A well known fact amongst hostellites is that we all do crazy shit. I mean seriously CRAZY!!
So i dedicate this blog entry to all hostellites that hate wardens and love life at hostel. I am going to list the top 10 wierdest things that i have done through my 2 years of college life,
1.Had to write an appology letter for dancing in the corridors at 2 am during silence hours.
2.Bought my sister a valentines dday card for her b'day without knowing what it is.
3.Went to Mumbai and blew up my saving of around Rs.10000 and didnt actually buy anything.
4.Ate dog meat knowing it was dog meat just because it was 10 rupees lesser than chicken meat.
5.Walked for three hours to reach my aunt's place and got lost.(I was actually going around in circles).
6.Asked a random stranger if she would go out with me for a bet with my friend which got me a maaza.
7.Driven a scooter which did'nt have any breaks.(P.S-I dont know how to drive)
8.Went to keralal in the toilet seat of a train from Blore.
9.Have lived for a month with 150 rupees.
10.Shat in a hole without any water.
(The above given experiences have been sensored as blog readers may kick my ass).

Saturday, April 25, 2009


mom:"WHICH ONE!!!"
me(opening the kitchen cabinet):" the absence of the pan),where did it go????"
me(trying not to get embarrassed, pointing to a random pan):"Oh.There it is."
mom:"Oh really. I know that's not the one".
me(confidently):"SEE THAT'S MY POINT.(me approaching the fridge and opening its door.To my luck the pan lay in the fridge with some thing which had been melted months ago)."THERE'S YOUR PAN."
mom(with a sheepish grin):"as if it made a difference.DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN FRY SAUSAGES WITHOUT OIL??????"
me:"YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!!!!(lifting a fried oily sausage and bringing it towards my wide open mouth).I EVEN DOUBT THE OIL YOURE USING . HOW HEALTHY IS IT? DID YOU KNOW THEY USE ANIMAL WASTE IN SAUSAGES.BESIDES THE FAT CONTENT IN THIS CRAP IS....(taking a bite of the juicy, freshly fried sausage).It's flawless."
P.S.:ate eight sausages that day.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Driver

“GET UP!!!!!”, dad bellowed. “get up, its time to go to the dental clinic, Aboobaker will be here at 6:45 in his car, and we have to leave or the traffic will be at its peak”; said mom.
You see recently I had an accident at Neethu’s swimming pool. I dived from the deep end and ended up at the shallow end. What damage was caused? My front incissors,cut through my upper lip, and they got cut. Luckily the roots still exist so they just have to do a crowning. Anyway today was my dental check up date , and Dr. Asheel would be waiting. Soon I got ready and me and my mom got down from our flat , all set to go.
Aboobaker’s car arrived, his newly bought car. We got in, “How are your teeth son?” he asked me in Malayalam with his “Thanni mapulla” slang , and we talked for a while. Soon we reached the clinic , we met Dr.Asheel and nothing much was done. Now it was time to get back home. Here is where the real story commences. The driver bringing us back was Noushad , we waited for 45 minutes and then we saw the no: 21 Toyota , Hiace he owned. We got in , Noushad had a distinct “MALLUU TO THE CORE” look, he turned to me while he was driving and asked the obvious, “What happened to your teeth kid?”. I told him the whole story. This was the millionth time I was reciting the tale of my misfortune. He dropped my mom of at school and started talking to me about the art of swimming or , as he calls it , “simmee”. He began,” Simmee is the best ekcherchise. Did you know,” he looked away from the road for a second giving me a look as if he was going to tell me the deepest secrets of the U.N. , “ simmee is the only ekcherchise that makes use of every muscle in the body , even you ear!”. I gave him an expression that said “Oh my God your such a genius” and he was pleased with that, he continued , “ ok ok , for example, why do we keep our palms together while diving?”, he looked away from the road once more, this actually frightened me as the traffic wasn’t negligible. I replied to show him that I was listening , “To get streamlined motion?”. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” he kept laughing for a long time as if I had said the joke of the millennium. “Ofcourse not , it’s cause if there are any stones or obstacles in the way we may feel it and move away from it so that our head doesn’t hit against it , not for any motion or anything” he said chuckling. I gave him the “Oh my God your such a genius” expression again and he was pleased again. I thought to myself , “What a dumbass”. Then some how to make him stop talking I started, “ I’ve got to change my watch because it has a blue dial I need one with a black dial so….”. He interrupted “ you don’t have much faachon sense do you?”. I gave him a smile and agreed. “ I thought so, blue dial is the current faachon , why do you want to change to a black dialed watch?”. “Because that’s my problem” I thought to myself. “Well just like that” I replied. “ Which company is it let me see”; he held my wrist to take a look at the watch . “Aalba ,huh”; he said , a wide smile forming on his face. After a moment of thought he said , “it’s an Indian company , very very old, look on the back it will be written-MADE IN INDIA”; I looked at the back it was written in block letters as if the manufacturers knew about our conversation- ASSEMBLED IN CHINA , JAPAN MOV’T. I didn’t show him the back and I said , “ You were right made in India”, “ See , I told you , Aalba ,Tytaannu, < meaning titan> all are good”. I agreed. Soon we reached home.
“OK kid, see you later ok and take care”. “How much uncle?”; I asked. “One dinar will do”. I knew the ride would have actually cost more and I asked him if he was sure , he replied “For our “naatukaru”, there is no need of a price to be paid”. I thanked him and proceeded to the lift. Although he was really dumb , and didn’t know anything about anything , and was really nosey , he was innocent and naive and to me that was all that mattered.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Once Neeraj, a close friend of mine banged my balls and fled away.Obviously me being the worser athlete doesnt chase him ,but I use my warrring tactics.
In other words i wait for him to return to the class.Adjusting the perfect level for the balls of a 6 footer,I stood,I waited.His identification mark being his maroon sweater.After the long wait came the flash of the maroon sweater.My palm turned into a fist of rock, reaching for the lower abdomen,justice was going to be served,the balance was going to be complete,the eggs of joy were going to crack.But no ,sudden realisation,i move away from the maroon sweater, tearing my hair,half mad running around the class like a crazy baboon.I would have done the undoable.

P.S.:A girl named Amal who was from Somalia , and who was a 6 footer and who was the girl with the biggest biceps,had worn a maroon sweater that day.

Something at class

Kiran,(looking at me):Chetti kulangara.......
(Me interrupting):Kulungunna chedi.....